24: Season 2 - some things I'd like to see

So we finished the second season of 24 today, and it got me thinking... I did some brief researching, and it appears that about 115-120 people got killed in season 2. Of that, Jack killed about 30 people. I think that for each season, there's a lot of side stories that could be told:

1) whenever someone in law enforcement fires their weapon (much less kills someone), they have to fill out a lot of paperwork and go through an investigation to determine if it was justifiable homicide. I'd like to see some time devoted to the interviewers in the hearings.
-interviewer #1: Jesus, it's Bauer again?
-interviewer #2: How come this guy isn't dead or in jail yet?
-interviewer #3: I don't know why you guys are complaining, Jack's the reason I could afford my 2nd house and that new bmw in the parking lot.

2) In a similar vein... don't forget that government can be a very stingy place to work, where you have to requisition inventory with 3 different forms all signed by a different member of management. I'd like to see someone in personnel who has to go back and fix the necessary paperwork for Jack's inventory indulgences. I can imagine it would go something like this:
Bauer: yeah, I'm gonna need another box of bullets.
inventory: Again? Why don't you save some bullets for the rest of the agents?
Bauer: Look, I'm Jack FUCKING Bauer. So far today I've been in a plane crash, jumped out of a plane, watched a nuke go off, and my idiot daughter has been kidnapped more times than I've been tortured. Don't piss me off.

3) I think the thing I'd be most interested in - so interested I almost did this myself - is to read Jack Bauer's blog. Can you imagine how odd that would look? Well folks, I can:
4:07 pm - plane crashed. What, did I break a box of mirrors?
4:47 pm - the woman who killed my wife just turned on me. Remind me why I haven't killed her yet?
10:57 pm - jumped out of a plane, got to watch a nuke go off. I wonder if I'm gonna get cancer? Nah, I'm Jack Bauer, cancer ain't got shit on me.
12:36 am - I punched a coworker so hard I broke his ankle. I am a badass.
1:04 am - the bad guy who was trying to make a deal with me got shot, told me I'm a badass. Duh, dude. I'm Jack Bauer.
3:24 am - shot a bad guy. Note to self - stop by inventory and pick up another box of bullets.
3:25 am - shot another bad guy. At this rate, I'm going to run out of bullets.
3:26 am - broke a guy's neck. Bullet shortage not a problem any more.
3:55 am - my dumbass daughter got in trouble again. I swear to god I should just lock her in a closet. Next time she gets arrested, kidnapped, or is in danger of being harmed in any way, I'm just going to wash my hands of her.
5:57 am - daughter called again. This time she's trapped in a closet with a bad guy. I told her to shoot him twice - that's bullets I don't have to waste, and I still get the credit for the kill as far as I'm concerned.

I'm aware it's just a tv show,
Dys

a few words to the wise

Love's blossom can wither and die, but a heart of stone lasts forever.

what's next - a laser razor?

Really, a 5-bladed razor? Gillette, what the hell are you thinking? First the mach-3, then Schick comes out with the quattro (yes, we know, quattro means 4), then Gillette says - hey, since we make Duracell batteries, why don't we start shoving some in disposable razors and see who buys it? and comes out with the m3 power. Now, don't get me wrong, I love the m3 power, because it's the first razor blade in a long time that allows me to not pass out from blood loss once I've finished shaving.... but 5 blades is just fucking scary. I can't wait to just go get that laser hair removal - I can't see myself ever having anything other than a goatee, so I'm fine with lasering off everything else. On my face, you perverts.

Dys

My true feelings

I am naked without you. You are like a second skin, wrapping me in your grip and desperately begging me never to let you go. Whenever I see you, the corners of my eyes crinkle up in a smile that doesn't quite touch my lips. We share a personal joke that no one else gets, shared experiences that I could write down, but would turn into just words, like Cinderella's carriage dissolving into last October's pumpkin. When you aren't near me, a part of me always misses you...I see you out of the corner of my eye, but when I turn, it isn't you. In a way, that makes me happy - to see you out on someone else's arms would burn my heart to ash. I remember when we first met (how could I forget?) and how excited I was, how I knew right then that I must possess you. I could tell you longed for me too, stretching towards me like rays of sunlight. Even now, I miss you - I long to run home and cuddle with you under the blankets, our protective layer against the world. I know I won't have you forever - sooner or later you will fade away or be torn from my body - but that's a far off fact, like the population of China or the distance to Neptune. Sure, they're facts, but they are unrealistic and hard to conceptualize. If I had my way, you'd never change - you'd be there any time I opened my eyes.

This is for you, stretchy orange shirt.

Gotcha, didn't I?
Dys

a little something to make you pee your pants

Anyway, I want a pet monkey. It's hard to find one around here - once I saw a monkey for sale at a pet store, but it was too expensive. So, I tried to steal it by stuffing it down my pants. Did you know monkeys don't like confined spaces? Oh, and they're biters. On a side note, insurance doesnt cover it if you have to get a rabies shot because youve been bit in the crotch by a monkey.

Off to find a toothless monkey to steal,
Dys